In this specific moment, I can make a list of at least ten people that I miss dearly. Currently, my sister pops into my mind and for now, I will send her a little text to tell her I love her. But with each passing day, I am reminded of someone else with whom I wish I could grab a coffee or go on a walk.
I have moved more than ten times before I turned twenty-seven. I am not sure if that is a lot for you but for me it is a little too much. I love exploring new places and learning about regional culture however the major downside to this reality is the spread of friendships all over the country and world.
I know I am not the only person dealing with this situation. Everyone seems to be transient and willing to relocate. My problem is not with moving necessarily but rather, I am focused and troubled when I think about how to maintain long-distance friendships.
Communication takes a lot of energy for me - I am an extroverted-introvert and responding to personal texts, emails and phone calls drains me. But I have also been blessed with a wonderful family and the most loyal friends. Therefore, I try to find a way to schedule times to talk with friends but then I fail because life eventually get busy and exhaustion takes over.
As I move back to Turkey in October, I am in a position where I will be further away from many dears friends. I am trying to think through ‘my tribe’ of people whom I need to connect with weekly, monthly, etc. But as I think through this, I wonder: How many people can I reasonably and genuinely connect with regularly? Do I need to be more present with where I am physically?
I know that dear friends and a loving family are not a given - they need to cared for and valued. Most of the time I feel guilty about not connecting and I carry the weight of delayed communications.
So I am asking you. How do you deal with the feeling of missing many people? Do you have plans-of-action, tools or tips to miss people well rather than miss people remorsefully?
Art work by Alessandra Olanow © alessandraolanow.com